Myths & realities: sexual assault & men

MYTH:   Men can't be sexually assaulted.

REALITY:   Sexual assault is not an experience only women endure. Men can be, and are, sexually assaulted every day. It can happen to any guy, regardless of his sexual orientation, size, strength, appearance, occupation, race or culture. It happens at home, at work, in locker rooms and in cars – just about anywhere a perpetrator thinks he can get away with it.

It's not unusual for a male victim to "freeze" out of shock or fear of physical harm. Few, if any, men have ever considered the possibility of such a thing happening and are therefore totally unprepared.

Studies show that 10 to 20% of males (boys, youths and adults) are sexually violated at some time in their lives. And on the rare occasions when a sexual assault against a male gets reported, the victim is often doubted, labeled "gay" or even blamed for what's happened to them.

We don’t hear about male sexual assault because the men it happens to often choose to suffer its effects alone and in silence.


MYTH:   Men can't be sexually assaulted by women.

REALITY:   Women can and do sexually abuse and assault men, but it rarely gets reported by the survivor. If you include emotional blackmail as a way of forcing a male to submit to sexual assault, then the number of crimes greatly increases.

Sexual assault of a male by a female does not have to involve penile penetration; a female attacker can use sex toys or other foreign objects on an unwilling male. It's also not uncommon for males to experience involuntary erections during a sexual assault.


MYTH:   Men who are sexually assaulted don't suffer as much as women who are assaulted: after all, they don't risk becoming pregnant.

REALITY:   All sexual assault survivors suffer many of the same reactions: depression, anger, anxiety, confusion, fear, numbness, self-blame, helplessness, suicidal feelings and shame are common ones. Some responses are gender specific, others are not.

Statistically, male survivors of sexual assault are at higher risk of committing suicide. And while they don't become pregnant, male survivors of anal rape are at a high risk of internal damage, which leads to a greater possibility of HIV infection.

Sexual assault directed against gay men is more likely to involve higher levels of violence, the use of weapons and multiple assailants.


MYTH:   Getting an erection or ejaculating during a sexual assault means the survivor "really wanted it" or even consented.

REALITY:   This myth causes major issues of guilt and confusion for male survivors. Physical stimulation can cause an erection whether the recipient wants it to happen or not. Pressure in the prostate gland can cause the same reaction. Having an erection or ejaculation is a normal, involuntary physiological response, and does not automatically equate with arousal - or with consent.

A male survivor may be bewildered or confused about his physiological response during the event, or may feel guilt or shame, and may therefore be inclined not to report it.


MYTH:   Only gay men are sexually assaulted.

REALITY:   The incidence of sexual assault involving gay male victims is slightly higher than for heterosexual males, but this is largely due to the fact that gay men can become the target of anti-gay violence perpetuated by other men. Heterosexual men can be, and are, sexually assaulted in large numbers.


MYTH:   Only gay men sexually assault other men.

REALITY:   The vast majority of male offenders who sexually abuse or assault other men identify themselves as heterosexual. Some offenders target males simply because it gives them a greater feeling of dominance, power and control than abusing a woman.

Sexual assault is about violence and anger, not lust or sexual attraction. The vast majority of males who target boys for sexual abuse are not gay.